I have no self discipline.

I have downloaded at least four different weight loss apps. At least seven exercise apps. I have almost as many self help books as I do comic books. I have never finished any of them.

Today, I spent the whole day trying to be productive around the house instead of just turning the TV on- and for the most part I succeeded (I did catch up on Paradise Hotel but that’s it)- but the truth is it was only to avoid doing the one thing I NEEDED to do: work. I have at least five hours of work I need to complete if I am going to survive next week. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I took out my computer and let it sit on my coffee table as I did my laundry, cleaned my kitchen, did the dishes, swept my floor, did a quick workout, started packing for my trip, organized my makeup.

These are things I’ve been putting off for days (some even weeks), and I only did them today because I’d rather do them than work.

(How much I hate my job has gotten pretty bad recently. But that’s another post.)

I want to see if other people are like me. Those who want to change their lives, try to prepare for success, and then just… don’t because they lack the self discipline.

No, today I didn’t veg out in front of the TV, but there are a lot of weekends and nights that I do. And I know I have commitments or chores or should be more active, and I still… cant bring myself to do anything about them. I find myself choosing the path of least resistance, the most lazy.

But the truth is, I want to be better. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life, and I don’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. I get winded going up the stairs at BART. I eat like garbage and my lips are chapped from being dehydrated all the time. I don’t like this version of me, so I download the apps, and I make plans. But I can’t keep myself motivated to stick to them.

I’d love to hear some tips on what others have done to build their self discipline. Keep them from falling into a pit or laziness like I currently find myself. I can’t keep using work anxiety to be the driver I need to take care of myself.

Do you use any apps? Do you have a partner who holds you accountable? What works for you?

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